


Until It’s Enough

by arachnid_writes



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Spiraling, a disaster twins late night fic, i am PREDICTABLE, kind of, self deprecation, what a surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnid_writes/pseuds/arachnid_writes
Summary: Leo didn’t want to talk, and that was okay, because Donnie would be there to fill the silence until he was ready to.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 183





	Until It’s Enough

**Author's Note:**

> sooo i was not originally going to post this as the first part of this fic was actually more than a vent than anything, but i am nothing without my hurt/comfort and got carried away writing the comfort part soooo
> 
> [gestures vaguely at all 1000 words or so]
> 
> here we are i guess, enjoy akdhjajd

Leo turned onto his back,— or rather, his shell— tired gaze trained on the curves of his ceiling. He reached for the blanket that had pooled at his stomach to pull it up to his chest.

He wasn’t ever going to be good enough, was he?

Sure, he wasn’t _terrible_. He wasn’t that dumb or blind to genuinely think that, he knew he had his...redeeming qualities. His jokes weren’t the worst, his fighting skills decent. Heck, maybe even good. Above average. 

But he also wasn’t anything incredible or even noteworthy, really. He wasn’t insanely smart or strong, he didn’t have the heart of a saint or the wisdom of one too many generations’ of weight being placed on a single pair of shoulders. He didn’t have the determination to keep going, the tenacity to remain unrelenting in the face of all odds.

He was just.. He was just Leo. He was just Leonardo, the faceman. The wise cracking teen with a mouth too big for his own good. Who didn’t know when to shut up, when to quit. Who could never seem to just _figure it out_.

He didn’t even realize he had been gripping his bedsheet so tightly until he felt the fabric give a little under his nails. He let go and turned onto his side, curling up as if the position would protect him from the onslaught of his thoughts.

They wouldn’t, he realized. To be protected the thoughts needed to be untrue, to be so outlandish that logic would win over and show him the light. These thoughts _were_ true. There was no fighting fact.

He felt a tear slip down his cheek and his composure crumpled. A broken sob forced it’s way past his throat and into the empty room, falling only on the rumble of the sewers outside. He didn’t know why he was still trying to hold himself together, it wasn’t like anyone was watching anyways.

And even if they were, there wasn’t any hiding it anymore. They all knew how weak he was. How weak he always has been, and always will be.

Weak, weak, weak. 

Never enough.

He didn’t want to be alone right now, he _couldn’t_ be alone right now. As selfish as it was, as much as he didn’t deserve it, he needed someone to keep him company.

He dragged himself out of his bed, wiping furiously at his eyes and pulling on his hoodie before making his way out of his room.

—————————

Donnie looked up from his data upon hearing footsteps at the entrance of his lab. He rubbed at his tired eyes, bleary from staring at his screens, until they focused on the figure standing there.

It was Leo, his own eyes red and puffy and hoodie shrugged on haphazardly. He was leaning against the frame, clearly just as tired as Donnie was.

Still, despite looking like he had just gone to hell and back, his little brother put on one of his signature faceman smiles upon noticing he had Donnie’s attention. Tilted and all too telling.

“Heya, Dee. Whatcha working on?” Leo’s voice was gravelly, as if he had just woke up and hadn’t had a glass to drink just yet.

Or like he spent the worse half of the night crying. Donnie assumed it was the latter.

He frowned, scanning over Leo for a second and debating whether or not to comment on his appearance, maybe even ask him what was ailing him this particular night. Their gazes met, and something in Leo’s almost pleaded for him to not ask any questions.

Donnie decided he could spare him this night.

He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face as he turned to look back at his screen. “Not necessarily _working_ on anything, more so just reviewing.” he suppressed a groan. “Tedious...tedious reviewing.”

Donnie heard Leo chuckle and then walk over, but he froze just a few steps away. Donnie peaked over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow in mild confusion. “Are you coming in?”

Leo shook his head briefly, hand reaching up to grip his sleeve. “Yeah, sorry. Just realized I forgot to uh...ask.”

His voice seemed unsure, hesitant. As if he was worried he’d slip up and be sent away. Donnie clenched the arm of his chair in worry, but pushed it down.

“Well, you’re already here. Go ahead.” he decided to say instead, looking around before pulling up a stool beside him. He winced as it dragged across the floor, the sound a little too shrill for his ears. He looked up to Leo sheepishly.

“In case you wanna sit down.” he explained.

Leo stared for a second, and then he was smiling softly again, moving over and sitting down on the stool. Donnie returned his sights to his data, but no matter how much he read it he couldn’t focus on the words. His mind was elsewhere. 

He sighed deeply, exhaustion pulling at his thoughts and leaving all except for one subdued and ready to be tucked away before rest. He tapped his finger against his keyboard idly, struggling to decide whether or not he wanted to voice his concern or if he should play it safe and not push things. Listen to social cues.

He never was one for doing that anyways, was he?

“Leo,” he started, and received a hum of acknowledgement. “you...know I love you right? And that you can talk to me?”

It took a minute before Leo responded. “Yeah, I know.”

Donnie pressed his lips into a fine line, _really_ considering his next words. “I mean it, though.” he continued, turning to look at Leo. “I know I’m not always great with the whole feelings thing, but I think I’m getting better at the listening part and I care about you, so if you need-“

“Donnie, please.” Leo’s voice cut him off, barely above a whisper. “I...I don’t want to talk right now. Thank you, but I just want some company.”

Donnie paused, and then looked back to his screen for what had to be the fourth time. At this rate, he would likely strain his eyes from the constant back and forth between the darkness of his room and the bright blue light. “Right, sorry. I can do that.”

The silence hung for a while longer, until eventually Donnie was able to refocus on what he had been trying to process. Carefully, he began to type in the missing quadrants, unaware of how the gentle clicking was slowly lulling his brother to sleep.

He didn’t realize the change until a head was falling on his shoulder with a soft _thunk_ , quiet snores filling the silence left by him stopping his typing. He looked down to see Leo sound asleep, and smiled slightly.

He shuffled a little, careful not to jostle Leo too much, and rested his own head on the slider’s. He let his eyes shut as well, he could use a break from the numbers anyways. 

Leo didn’t want to talk, and that was okay, because Donnie would be there to fill the silence until he was ready to. To quietly remind Leo there were people who cared about him, people who didn’t mind sleeping in an uncomfortable position and waking up with a crick in their neck for the sake of comfort.

And that would be enough for now.


End file.
